#reblogs off cause i don't want this to be a big old argument post i am just complaining

[naivegh0st]

Okay so this was originally going to be a reblog to this post but I had more to say than I thought I did and it got too long and rambly to be a reblog so here are my Frederica interpretations/headcanons and I know we don't have much to go off of but she is a whole character in my head.

So for me a big thing about Frederica is that I think she's very good at what she does like at being a Knight but not good enough for the Gunnhildr standards and she internalised that so hard. I just think the Gunnhildr's have impossibly high standards for their heirs because of how prestigious they are as a family in Mondstadt. (They where the first family to follow and be blessed by Barbatos and fought alongside him to promote him to Anemo Archon, like yeah there are other important families in Mondstadt but they are the ones). And like if you were to ask anyone in the knights what they thought of Frederica they'd only have good things to say, but to Frederica she's kind of a bit of a failure because like she didn't get one of the four winds titles, she "lost" to Varka - someone who as far as we know isn't from any important family- and not only that but she didn't get a vision. And we know that her position in the knights has "long surpassed any ordinary Captain" yet she chooses to stay as a Commander, possibly because she kind of feels there's no point as she wasn't deemed to have the potential to lead and she's like "Well maybe I can just be an amazing field knight" and maybe maybe maybe if she keeps throwing herself on the front lines in defence of Mondstadt she'll be recognised by the gods.

And then while still quite young she meets Seamus and they fall in love and get married and have kids (maybe because they want to or maybe because she's a Gunnhildr so she must produce an heir, or maybe a bit of both) and then she has this kid and its like this chance to be a good Gunnhildr again, by producing this amazing heir, and also she probably doesn't want her kid to feel how she felt, like she's good but not enough to be a Gunnhildr, so she's just so determined to make this kid into the ideal Gunnhildr, at the sacrifice of being a good mother. And I think this would cause her to clash with Seamus, who's a bit taken aback by how authoritarian and demanding she is of this kid, and put strain on their relationship, like they're having frequent arguments about how they should parent Jean. And then they have Barbara and when she's old enough Frederica starts doing the same to her as she did to Jean, but Barbara didn't take to it as well and maybe Frederica kind of sees herself in that because even though Barbara's not good now, she could train her whole life and improve, but she'd never be a Jean, or a Diluc or a Varka. And I think seeing Barbara struggle kind of reignites her whole fear of failing to be a Gunnhildr and she ups both of their training and that's what makes Seamus realise that there is no getting through to her, that he's been asking and asking and asking her to tone it back for years and she had, in little ways, but it takes only one thing to go slightly wrong and now all those conversations and arguments may as well not have happened and so he just gives up on trying to get through to her and just files for a divorce, with the aim to at least get Barbara away from Frederica as it's kind of too late for Jean at this point.

And this leaves Frederica with a lot of unwanted attention/speculation as I reckon her and Seamus where seen as like The Ideal Couple so for them to divorce would have people speculating (especially as there's fuck all else to do in Mondstadt). And obviously she's just been divorced which I don't think she'd take too well bc I think she really did love Seamus and despite feeling she's not good enough she's still a Gunnhildr, she's still proud, she's still in control and getting divorced would obviously be a jab at that pride and a stripping away of her control of the situation. And I think all of this would give her a kind of sunk cost fallacy like view of Jean's success, like she's lost so much because of how she chose to raise Jean and instead of self reflecting and being like "huh maybe I did something bad" she just sees the consequences as the price she had to pay for the prize of Jean's success. And so she just really zeroes in on making Jean a good Knight and in doing so destroys their already fragile relationship (I think it would especially have this effect as I always headcanoned Jean to be abt 12-13ish when her parents divorced which is a really emotionally volatile age anyway, nevermind having your parents divorce and your sister taken away and then the parent you're left with is just treating you even worse and you just don't really get why any of this is happening but all you do know is you're with your mum now and you're feeling the worst you ever have). And then there's just the two of them in this massive house and they're both just really upset but don't have the relationship to talk about it and they just fall into this kind of cycle where Frederica is upset and lets it alter her treatment of Jean, who then gets more upset and Frederica sees this and is like "why does my daughter hate me doesn't she see all that I've lost for her" and then gets more upset and so on and so forth. I do think they're arguing a lot around this time until Jean gets older and kind of mellows out and just gives up on arguing back because it gets her nowhere and Frederica's like "Finally, all my shouting and demanding and strictness and probably a handful of instances of physical abuse have payed off and worked and now my daughter is great again. And look! She just got her Lion of The South title I must be doing such a good job."

And I think she views how she raised Jean as necessary to make her into the knight she is, but when Jean moves out she's kind of like "huh, I have absolutely no friends or family, only the vague respect of random civilians." And only then does she try to amend her relationship with her daughters (because only then does she realise she doesn't really have one, I think she viewed motherhood as something that would just happen, that one day Jean and Barbara would just kind of accept how she raised them and love her anyway), but she can't exactly just go and talk to them because they never really had a relationship like that in the first place, so she just kind of sends gifts that leave especially Jean really conflicted to receive.

[crazyworldofemmamarie]

Quick rant but this whole fear of AI within some of the arts, like writing is just getting out of control and to be quite honest just down right silly.

I reblog a post the other night that made an excellent point where they explain that in order for AI to truly be a threat we'd have to develop AI first, and we're nowhere near doing that and whatever the real technical terms are, we are still in the midst of developing it and I'm sorry we aren't even close, it seems we all like to think is but it's most likely not gonna happen for a while. Because if we are gonna deveolp these machines to create, I feel like that would take years. Another great point that the author of the post brings up is how writing contains so many tasks that take tons of creativity and years of practice that really sometimes takes years even for humans.

As for the whole development scheme, just remember we can't stop it at anytime. We always fear technology going against us but just remember in 2001, they TURNED Hal 9000 off. Meaning they could stop it anytime, yet allowed it to get as far as it it. It's always an example I use in these types of arguments but I honestly forget that we as humans are more powerful that we think we are and really we are not only ones that creating it, but supporting and you may not know it or want to think about but we can band together and prevent it from our sources look at the Actors Strike for Christ sake. It would take a long time, but damn it it would be worth it. I don't know do strikes, have petitions, make it happen. Stop it.

The thing is I don't think anyone understands that this wouldn't be such a conversation if we weren't so adamant about CGI. I'm serious, where do you think it all started? Not only that but we are wo obsessed with the evolution of technology only for the mere sake of 'what could we do next' and that's no fault if anyone's. It's thrilling.

Not only that, another thing I learned about some AI programs is it's taking these from other sources and mashing up which one: It's stealing I'll admit that, and that's wrong. Yet, that's another rant for another day. But in a sense? Say fir pictures, it's just photoshop. We just taught computers to photoshop? whether we want to admit or not, but there is always a person behind that AI, cause most times the creators is what come before and stand behind the creation. I stand by that.

Though hey, maybe I'm just talking out of my ass, if I'm being honest I just got off of a 12 hour night shift, running on coffee, a protein bar along with and edible I take to sleep might be messing with me big time but I really just don't see the hype, especially the more and more I look into it and as someone who faced these debates a lot in film school it's seems like a waste of time to worry.

And really, it's been around for awhile and it's still seems to be the same deal, 'oh in a few years it's gonna be so advanced ' and it 90 percent of the time isn't. Really, I think this is probably the most progress we've made.

Truly I think it's also silly that it's making people fear and question art on it's audenticy. Avoiding, it's community but not engage with it. Whether it be not wanting to comment on fanfiction (another post I read and reblogged) or sharing on art through social media and even having to see if films have any AI in it just to determine if you should go see it or not, or if it will be good or not. That stings man, and I'm sure just just a sore for all artists and creators in the world.

If anything, I really blame those old sc-fi thrillers/that really installed that sort of fear and excitement of technology and the idea artificial intelligence into us.

[thegreymoon]

Sorry, You didn't really say or do anything to make me think that you are Asian. I thought that I read sth in your lj where u said that you were and just run with it. It was a long time ago and I must have misread. Also, you don't really post a lot political stuff, it is more like I notice it more because when I visit your page I skip all Merlin related stuff and am interested in the rest so again my fault. As for my ise of imaginary- yeah, it was passive agressive, altough not intentionally so

… my bad. I rarely engage in political conversations online because it never ends well, especially when my views clash with 90% of tumblr users so I am used to combative tone and it was unnecessary.. As for SJW I am not sure if that is dissmissive term as it discribes the “movement” well? I am not native speaker and am aware that it can be used as derogative term, but was also convinced that it is used by people on the left if political spectrum. I asked you why you are mainy interesetd in USA because I was working under the assumption that u are Asian it seemed to me weird that a person coming from China/Japan etc would be championing social justice in USA when it not that big of a problem(or at all IMO) whie ignoring very real problems in their own country. But since you are not Asian and you post political stuff rarely you are right it is a silly discussion. The fault is completely on my side. I am allergic to these kind of stuff and you are one of my favourite writers so I exaggerated. Once again sorry.

As for the rest of your response: I also come from relatively poor country that was screwed over by both Britain and USA and many other countries, and I don’t agree with many of their policies (or most) but I don’t hate them and believe that as much as people like to say they start wars for the oil etc it is not really true. There are many political and global players and everyone single country is motivated by greed it is only that not every country can exercise their power.  

Relatively they are not the worst, it is just that since USA tries to paint themselves as heroes they are held to different, much higher standards than other countries. To sum it up, I am not defending their foreign policies, they have done a lot of wrong and are shortseighted but I still think that are better than other superpowers that will soon take over like China or maybe India. Also, I don;t understand why would you include global warming in your answer?why do you believe it is their fault

I am trying to leave as “green” as I can, I am a vegetarian and I believe we should do everything to preserve environment, but I wouldnt want my country to sign any deals concerning CO2 emission as long as other countries do not do the same. Otherwise, they would just cripple their economy and not help the world? As for Trump(if you are still interested) I find him the epitome of self-important, conceited stereotypical american but still so much better than alternative and despite distaste. would still vote for him. Because he at least apppears to be anti globalist and has a much higher moral ground than Hillary. what are his SPECIFIC actions that you find so abhorrent? Anyway, what I alluded to in my message was not politics of USA but the social justcie issues, like support BLM or me to movement(I am not sure if you posted enything regarding that, so srry if I presume wrongly) which I find are absolutely not based on facts and despite that people still perpetuate that, and if u don’t agree you are racist and sexist. No arguments whatsoever. It is also silly to me when I see the posts about the West being this cesspool of sexism while honour killings or FGM is nearly a non issue on social media or racism when considering the West is still the least racist place in the world when you compare it to China/India/SA or any other place. So, I find the social media effort to be misdirected and controlled by emotions. Even the indigineous people issued you mentioned. Americans get so much shit for their history, while pretty much every single country that exist was created by conquering or displacement of the previous population(u just have to go far enough down the history). So, yeah wht happend to Indigenous people and dissappearance of their whole civilization is a great tragedy but not the first and unfortunately not the last in human history. Why are we hearing about it but not about Anuit people or Persian or Byzantians? it is so imbalanced. Ok, anyway, sorry for the rant it shouldn’t be directed at you and tumblr is definitely not the place for it. Sorry if I offended to you. As I said I love your writing, “DC” is my all time favourite fic, and because I creepely once read through all of your lj(including asks and responses) I(like an internet creep and stalker)liked you and thought you seemed smart, well balanced and knowledgeable so I guess I felt entitled to to make the ask. Wish you all the best in life. 

No worries, I’m sorry I came off so aggressive in my answer. I did actually live and work in China for a while during my LJ days and it’s entirely possible I may have tagged myself as being there on my fandom profiles at the time. It was a happy period for me and I talked about it a lot to anyone who had the patience to listen, so it’s very plausible that you have read something about it on my LJ! I’m very sorry if it was misleading, but I was only ever an expat there!

I used to be a lot more open about my real name and real-life dealings in fandom communities, but that almost backfired spectacularly, so I locked down a lot of stuff because it could do me quite a bit of damage. 

OK, I concede your point that if you remove the Merlin stuff, a lot of what is left on my Tumblr is going to be either me reblogging cats or raging about social injustices (oops) 😅

I’d just like to make it clear that I absolutely do not hate either the USA, the UK or any other country in the world. Like I said, people are people, and disgusting policies are disgusting policies and every single country is guilty of them. It’s just that some have a bigger impact and are more visible. My own country is a source of so much shame and anger for me, it far outweighs anything the UK and the USA could have ever done because it’s personal, but our nonsense is just not something that I come across when casually scrolling through Tumblr, so I don’t reblog it. It’s possible to love a nation and its people and still be critical of the evil they have done. 

Also, let me just clarify that I’m bothered by all injustices and human rights violations everywhere, but usually there isn’t a post about them when I’m scrolling at 2 am at night that I can reblog. The USA is just… low hanging fruit, and let’s face it, from where I stand, hating on their president, the white supremacists, the Nazis, fundamental Christians, racists and the Republicans in general after what they have turned into is not hating on the USA, but rather cheering on the sane part of the country to get rid of this toxic waste ASAP. The same goes for Brexiteers in the UK and I am so, so sad for all the people that are going to suffer because of it. 

Of course, I’m aware that China and Japan have issues and human rights violations that are mind-boggling, but again, they just don’t appear on my dash very often, or at least not in English or from a source I can easily fact-check. The Japanese and Chinese stuff I follow is mostly art, nature and pictures of pretty clothes. My knowledge of either of these countries is very superficial compared to Western countries, which impact me directly, so it really isn’t my place to appoint myself as a champion of human rights in the Far East when my own country and continent are a growing dumpster fire that cannot be contained.  

On the subject of global warming, I’m not blaming the USA (entirely, because they, of course, played their part, but so did the rest of humanity). I’m enraged by their governing body’s rhetoric as of late, the denial of climate change, every single action that Trump took since taking office (such as withdrawing from the Paris climate agreement), him making ignorant, snide remarks in the middle of the polar vortex just days ago while people were suffering, deliberately sabotaging scientists and spreading dangerous, false information when each and every single country should be all-hands-on-deck if we want to avert a disaster of global proportions (especially with all the signs pointing to us being too late already). Nobody is suggesting that the USA should unilaterally reduce carbon emissions, all countries in the world must do it and develop the technology to make it feasible to convert to clean energy. And yes, the USA, China and other giants have to lead the way because they are the ones with the power! My poor, tiny country is not the one that can impact anything, so yes, the USA is absolutely more responsible to lead the way forward, but instead of at least moving in the right direction, Trump is deliberately lying and sabotaging all effort because he likes the money he gets from Big Oil companies, and he’s giving a platform to religious nutcases for votes, who think that there won’t be a global disaster of epic proportions in the near future because God promised Noah he would never again flood the entire Earth in the Old Testament. It’s not even the outright evil that is bothering me the most right now, but the mind-numbing stupidity. 

I have nothing but loathing for both of the Clintons. They have caused so much destruction in my country and I do not want good things for either of them, ever. I will never pretend that Hillary Clinton is anything even resembling a good person because you do not reach that level of power by having a conscience, but at the very least, she is not a rapist and paedophile that the general public knows of (which is more than we can say for her husband, btw). Trump has no moral high ground whatsoever, IMO. He has done everything imaginable, from scamming charities (this was proven in court) to raping minors (see Epstein). He has no redeemable human characteristics and is not even intelligent enough to pretend that he does, which is at least one thing that Hillary has going for her. I’m not going to sit here and list all the reasons why Trump is abhorrent because a) it cannot fit in a Tumblr post b) I would be sitting here for years. 

I will also not engage in discussion about whether or not BLM is a valid movement, ever. I don’t understand what you mean when you say it isn’t based on ‘facts’. Which, facts are in doubt, exactly? It’s based on multigenerational, still ongoing trauma and persecution of an entire race of people! I’m neither black nor an American, but I believe African-American people when they talk about the terror they experience on a daily basis in their own country. I have eyes and I have ears, I know plenty of white people and have insight into how they think because I too am white and have been raised with similar bullshit. I have lived in Africa for years and seen things with my own eyes. I will never not take the side of black people when they protest racism anywhere and I will never not believe them when they talk about police brutality, race-based violence and systemic racism in countries built on slavery. 

Of course, I’m not saying racism doesn’t exist in other places and in other forms, but talking about one does not negate the other. 

Also, I don’t understand the point you’re trying to make about the West not being sexist because other places have it worse? I’m sure I misunderstood this, so forgive me if that is the case. FGM is terrible, yes, but that in no way invalidates other types of gender violence that still ruins the lives of countless women. Just because the women in, say, Saudi Arabia have it worse, that doesn’t mean that the women here or in the USA should not talk about issues that directly affect them (and, btw, I have absolutely been outraged about Saudi Arabia and FGM and shared posts about both). All are bad! This is not a competition. 

On the topic of you saying that America gets so much shit for its history, which you think is unjust, I have to mention that European settlers killed up to 95% of Native Americans in some areas in relatively recent history. Just days ago, I was reading an article about how they killed so many people, it actually changed the global climate! This is genocide on such a massive scale, my brain can’t even comprehend it, and yet here we are today, with Columbus Day and Thanksgiving as holidays while the surviving Native Americans suffer all kinds of indignity and discrimination, so no, I don’t think we are talking about it enough and I feel that America deserves all the shit it gets for its history. IMO, it is not getting enough shit! The fact that there are other issues out there that need to be talked about too and are being silenced does not in any way take away from any of this. 

Anyway, let’s not argue about which country is The Worst™ and which human rights issues are more worthwhile than others because that is pointless. We already agree that all governments are corrupt, that evil happened and is still happening all over the world and that all human rights issues are important. I firmly believe that if they were to be evaluated by a psychiatrist, 99% of all high-ranking politicians would be diagnosed with serious clusters of antisocial personality disorders. Most of them would do anything and the only thing stopping them is whether or not they can get away with it. The remaining 1% cannot really do much and keep both their conscience and political power intact. 

In any case, the last thing I want in life is to get into Tumblr discourse with LJ people, so how about we just put this behind us? Let’s agree to disagree on who is worse, Trump or Hillary, because that is a pointless disagreement, especially since neither of us is an American and this is getting out of hand. I feel like we are actually miscommunicating and talking about different things. We seem to be arguing different points, so all of it is coming off worse for both of us than it really should be. Also, I wish you hadn’t sent me this ask anonymously, because I now have no way of responding to you except publically, and Tumblr is seriously not a good place for this. 

On a happier note, I’m very glad that you enjoyed DC! I’m very sorry for the extremely long hiatus! Unfortunately, I’ve been going through things that stopped me from writing for a long time. I hope that one day I can still come back and finish that story, in spite of everything! Have a good day/night! :)

*hugs*

[firephox]

Why are you reblogging mental illness posts, you of all privileged people don't know what real mental illness is.

I don’t know where you are getting I am “privileged” from, and mental illness comes in all forms. I drove myself fucking insane and still contemplate suicide to this day. I’m going to share my story with you, Anon, in hopes that you are listening. I’m going to add a “read more” because it’s going to be a long one. I’m only sharing this so people like you will understand that mental illness is a struggle. 

My parents were very mentally abusive and strict, preventing me from doing any normal teenage activities and even going so far as to monitor my texts. I had to delete my facebook app whenever they asked to check my phone. They wouldn’t let me leave the house from the ages of 10-17 unless I was going to school. I never got to experience normal teenage life which caused me to develop severe anxiety, depression and dissociative disorder.I couldn’t even do extra curricular activities because my mother wouldn’t let me stay after school. My mother wouldn’t even let me take the city bus, which was quicker, so I had to take the school bus with a bunch of middle schoolers. I wasn’t even allowed to get my drivers license. I don’t know why, she just kept saying I wasn’t allowed. She stayed up really late at night too so I couldn’t even sneak out or escape. 

My mother was ByPolar, and had PTSD, and refused to get treatment. When she was in her “bad” moments, she would get extremely angry over the littlest things. Like once I forgot to refill the ice trays and she got so mad that she threw them across the kitchen into the sink and started going on about “how she does so much for us and that we were ungrateful brats”. That was just one of the hundreds of incidents living with my ByPolar parent. Now that I am an adult I am too afraid to do anything on my own and always fear if my mother will be mad if I do something. Her issues began ruining her marriage, and she became so bitter that she drove my father away, and into the arms of another woman. My mother was very mentally abusive and drove him insane. My parents fought a lot, sometimes until 6 AM and my father had to get up for work at 7. I could never sleep because of the fighting half the time. I never really liked my father because he was barely around, but I felt so bad for him. My mother also favored my little sister a lot more and never ever disciplined my little brother. he has since become a spoiled brat. I used to always get in trouble if anything happened to him and he would always rat me out for every single thing I did. I never had a good relationship with my siblings. It was always a battle for who could be the best child and get all the attention. 

We grew up poor, and lived in a mobile home in the “shitty” part of town. The drywall on my ceiling caved in once and we found mold everywhere in the insulation. Every year during the spring I had a massive leak in my wall so the water would stream down like a waterfall. It would have costed too much to fix so we just dealt with a shitty house. My highschool was all the way on the other side of town and was a 20 minute drive every morning and afternoon. During the 11th grade, I wasn’t allowed to take the school bus anymore and she had to drive me to school, but she hated mornings and half the time she slept in so I missed a lot of school. Which led to a lot of missed classes and a lot of homework. My mother never answered the phone to numbers she didn’t know, and she never ever went to my parent teacher interviews, so when the school would call it didn’t matter. 

I started making friends in the 9th grade, a single friend who I miss very dearly. Lets call her… Julie. We both loved anime and art, I learned a lot of my techniques from her. One time she texted me saying she was going to the movies and really wanted me to go see Divergent with her, but my mother was taking a nap and I would have gotten in shit if I woke her up to ask. So I didn’t bother. I cried. Julie was such a good friend and threw a massive sleepover party during that summer with some other friends, and really wanted me to come, but yet again, I had to make an excuse because my mother would never let me stay at “strangers” house. They posted pictures on facebook of them hanging out at the waterpark and camping in their backyard. I cried because of that too. Those were just a couple incidents with Julie. I hung out with her at school a lot though. We had some good times during lunch and art class. 

The 10th grade was… okay, I had a great English teacher (Mrs. B) who really liked me and told me my writing was amazing. She even offered to publish a short story I had written, but I declined. She was the only teacher I had ever had that praised me for something. My science teacher (Mr. S) on the other hand was a prick. If I came to class 2 minutes late he would kick me out and tell me I was never going to succeed in life and that I would be homeless or living in my mother’s basement. He never believed you if you said you had learning disabilities or couldn’t understand something. If you got an answer wrong, he would make fun of you in front of the whole class. He also did not believe that art was a job and would degrade students who enjoyed it. I was finishing a sketch for art class in my science class once and he actually took my sketch book from me and locked it in his desk. I never got it back. I worked really hard on it too. I failed his class and was forced to enter a science class for “slow” children. That crushed my self esteem 100%. I also failed Mrs. M’s Math class that year because I literally cannot even comprehend times tables. I’m so stupid. 

During the late end of the 10th grade, I got a friend request on Facebook from a guy. His name can be… James. He began messaging me and apparently he was a student in the same English class as me and we had the same interests. We were also mutual friends. We became friends and slowly he introduced me to his group of friends who all sat at the same table during lunch. They played Magic, D&D, and other card games, and I felt so happy because I finally knew some people who also played these games. I didn’t realize that slowly I was leaving my old friend Julie for these new kids. I think that really hurt her and I am sorry. So James and I began talking more and more on FB messenger and at lunch. 

Over the summer we sent each other thousands of messages. Probably hitting the 11,000 mark. I began to depend on his messages because they gave me comfort when my parent’s were fighting or when I felt like dying. Soon I began to feel very stir crazy locked in my own house because I was not allowed to go anywhere unless my mother was with me. I became so depressed that I would curl into a fetal position on my floor and cry until my lungs hurt. Quietly however, as I was terrified to think what would have happened if my mother heard me crying. The only time away I got from myself was when I would take my dog for a walk. That was the only time I was allowed to leave the house. I rescued my dog, and my mom hated the dog because she barked and was too big. That dog probably saved my life countless times, she would snuggle with me every time I wanted to kill myself. She was a big 120 pound akita mix, who was very protective of me, but she was not friendly so I would have to hike for an hour into the deep woods just to let her off the leash. She was always attached to me and would whine and bark when I got into arguments with my mom. I remember once just hiking until I was lost, flopping down in the snow, and looking up at the evening sky with my dog sitting beside me. My dissociative disorder was so bad then it always felt like nothing was real and that I was in a dream. The trees didn’t even look real, but I knew they were trees. The snowflakes falling didn’t even feel like they were coming near me. 

James began asking if we could hang out, and I would always have to come up with excuses. When the 11th grade picked up, I found out I was in James’ History class and started to like him. I became so attached to him that I actively depended on him. I fell so hard for him that I literally couldn’t even look at him. This was bad. Art class that year I became friends with a punk, rebelious girl named Shelly. She was hot and influenced me very badly. She had a boyfriend and would actually message me selfies with condoms every time she was going to have sex. I was only friends with her because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying I didn’t want to hang out. This, paired with what was going on at home was bullshit. She would cut her wrists and legs for attention and tell everyone about it and make it seem like she was so emo. She was never really depressed, she did it for show and actually told me that. 

She negatively influenced my life so much, I began skipping my science and math classes just to hang out with her around town. I only did this because my mother would never have caught me since our house was all the way on the other side of town. she even forced me to try smoking weed once and I don’t know what the hell it was laced with but my heart began palpitating so much I could see it on my chest and I had a severe panic attack. I don’t even remember what the fuck happened after that I just remember coming to in my English class. 

I got a job working at a fast food restaraunt and bought myself a cheap laptop and wacom tablet. I would skip my lunch and 3rd period class just to hang out with James, he ended up manipulating me into things I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to miss my art classes, but it was the period that James had a free block so he would usually walk home. I began going with him. I really hate talking about this part, since it’s really what hurt me the most. His parents worked during the day, so when I would skip class to go home with him, the house would be empty. It was friendly at first, and we would just watch tv or play games. He wasn’t the nicest person either, he would make fun of me sometimes. I told him I wanted to be a Journalist but he said they never made any money and I should pick a job that society really needs. Those weren’t the only times he was a dick. 

Eventually it led to things happening that I wasn’t ready for. I went along with it because I was afraid of losing him, and that security. I felt awful. So far as to lose my virginity to him. I didn’t want to and it was very painful. I even said no, but he insisted. This is so cringey and awkward to explain. He was like 6′1″ and heavily build, and I was 5′1″ and maybe 120 at the time. It was so awkward to walk back to school after that and then get picked up by my mother haha. After that time we messaged on facebook for another week and suddenly we stopped talking. It was nearly the end of the school year and he would avoid me every time I saw him. He was so ahead in History class that he didn’t even need to go so I never saw him again. I wondered if it was something I did or said that made him hate me. Ugh… I regret it to this day and I still haven’t told anyone. My mother makes me feel so bad about it and highly degrades women who have sex before marriage. I was 16 and lonely! 

Over the summer after the 11th grade, I fell into a dark place. Like really dark. I had all these emotions and no one to talk to. My mother would just judge me and punish me for it. Oh my god I’m even terrified of writing this in fear she will find it. I began bursting out in tears for no reason, staying awake all night and going a week without showering. I would get out of breath just walking and I was always tired. Deeply emotionally exhausted. I would begin making food and give up because It wasn’t worth it, I would look at a sharp object and picture myself stabbing it into my body. I wondered if it really hurt. I even found some baneberries growing in our yard and really thought about eating them since they were highly toxic as stupid as that sounds. I couldn’t even get help for my severe depression and still can’t because that would mean therapy and my mother would need to know why. 

So I ended up dropping out of highschool. I couldn’t face going back to that highschool because I was pretty sure he had spread rumors about me. My “friends” just never looked at me the same. I was out of school for a while and my mother got very, very mentally abusive. She would tell me I was ungrateful and explode over every little slip up that I did. She would freak out and say things like “You don’t want to go to school and you don’t want to work so what the fuck do you want”. Which it was those types of things she would do that really hurt me. I never once raised my voice to my mother, we had some arguments but they were pretty one sided, I wasn’t allowed to say anything to her or disagree with her. I was out of school for a few weeks into grade 12 as well, until I heard about a 2nd chance highschool for troubled students. It was right across the road from my old highschool, and everyone always made fun of it and said it was a school for dumb kids. I decided to check it out and I ended up signing up. It was weird at first, since it was set up like a group home, but the school work was a lot easier and I actually understood the math. I felt at ease for once. I was getting a lot done. Until the end of the year rolled around and everyone at the regular highschools were getting ready for grad. No one understands the pain you feel when you see pictures on top of pictures on facebook of your old classmates and friends with their grad dresses and accepting their diplomas and you didn’t get to. I wanted to walk on that stage and prove to the teachers that I was better than they said. I wanted to have fun trying on grad dresses. I wanted to show them that I beat mental illness as I accepted my diploma, but unfortunately I didn’t. It is still very relevant and some of us can’t get help until our situations change. I fucking cried my eyes out when I saw pictures of them having fun at grad. I wish I could go back and redo my entire highschool life. I’m legal age now, so I can’t even go back and get my highschool education without paying a hefty price for it. Lesson learned people, don’t give up on education. It really is important. 

I didn’t want to write this but eh, it made me feel a little better. That was my story of how mental illness ruined my life, and how I let it. Anon, if you are reading this, fuck off. 

[seilahsacress]

I've seen the original post and your reblog while searching the appropriate anti tags. I guess it's ok if I respond to your arguments?

Note: I mean no personal insult to you whatsoever, you can have any opinion you want on the series. You don't even have to read this if you don't want to debate. It's ok.

1-) What to do with the tradition of Shinobi would be too long of a debate, let's drop it for now. I have two major concerns with the 'peace between 5 nations'.

How did they manage to create peace after decades worth of wars? What makes the peace permanent? (Note: One can argue peace can never be permanent but that's another debate)

Why is it peace between only 5 nations? Why is it not peace between the entire Shinobi world?

Now... Let's look at both of those concerns of mine seperately.

Shinobi Alliance of 5 nations was founded for the 4th World War against a common enemy: Akatsuki, Madara, Tobi, Zetsu, whatever you call it. This alliance, by nature, is temporary. We can expect the nations to go back to what they used to be once this common threat disappears.

In order not to have repeats of the first 3 wars, nations should address what caused those wars and what their parts in those causes were.

And as far as we know, the sense of blind nationalism is still there. The notion that soldiers are expected to give up their loved ones, freedom, human rights and even lives for the village hasn't been officially debunked yet. Also, nations used to look out only for their own interests. Example: Kumo's attempts to steal bloodline limits. I don't think any nation admitted their past wrong-doings. Those selfish parties cannot achieve peace, especially not when their foundation relies on lies.

And my other concern, smaller nations... Yeah, why don't they still have the right to represent themselves at Kage Gatherings? And if a war was to break out, what stops the Big 5 from using their territories as war zones?

2-) ---

3-) So? Why should we be happy with this off-screen cop-out?

Besides, the Branch Members still have the curse seal. What stops the Main House from activating them again?

4-) Neji's death was completely stupid, both from a meta and in story perspective.

Anyway, that's not what I'm gonna say.

Neji was like "yeeey, I'm free!" at death. How is this message ok? He was a slave. Slaves are freed when they reclaim their basic human human rights and live, not when they die or "choose" to do what was expected of them. They're free when they have the right not to do what their owners tell them to do.

Neji loved his cousin Hinata and friend Naruto, good. He was ok with sacrificing his life for them, good again. However, he absolutely was not free. His death wasn't a resolution to the Hyuga slavery at all.

5-) The Third Hokage failed to stop a genocide. Then, he swept this government ordered crime under the rug and didn't appropriately punish the advocaters. I personally blame him quite a lot.

6-) He pointed that out because a 12 years old child dying in a war is fucked up. And the OP didn't claim that all what Obito did were just, he meant to say that it was Shinobi system's fault that a 12 years old went insane.

7-) ---

8-) Xenophobia against bloodline limit owners wasn't a one arc thing, it was one of the biggest flaws of the Shinobi system. And at top of Mizukage's orders to wipe out clans with bloodline limits, we also see similar fears and objectifyings over the course of the series too. For example: Kumo's attempts to kidnap Kushina and Hinata, Uchiha Massacre etc.

9-) Yeah, you're right but that wasn't what OP was talking about at all?

10-) Sasuke still doesn't have any political power to change the fucked up system that caused suffering to him, to his family and to many others.

And here comes the number 11, the most important part of OP's post...

"Naruto didn't change anything"

The OP listed reasons as to why the Shinobi system was wrong and how it's responsible for the sufferings of many.

Then he added... None of those issues were solved by the end of the series.

When he said Naruto didn't change anything, he meant the Hokage Naruto and the Shinobi system.

He did some inspiring talks and gave hope to people. Yes. Did he make radical political reforms so that no one would suffer as much as they did again? No.

That was OP's problem with the ending.

But my dude my friend my pal you see my problem, my biggest problem, with the Naruto ending is the complete lack of change in regards to the shinobi system and the way Sasuke was treated there after.

-Children are still being trained as child soldiers, which means this is not a time of peace. I know it’s unreasonable to think that every village would have no ninja but at least raise the age level requirement for admittance to the ninja academy? Like instead of tossing practically toddlers together and teaching them how to murder each other raise the age limit to 16? 18? Make them old enough so that they at least get a childhood and are old enough to be able to form coherent opinions on things for themselves instead of swallowing whatever “will of fire” bullshit is fed to them.

-Smaller villages still lack representation in things such as the Kage meetings and the Chuunin exams which is one of the main reasons the Akatsuki was formed in the first place.

-There was never any indication as to whether or not the Hyuga stopped using the forehead seals that enslaved the side branch. In fact clan oppression was never addressed at all. The people who spoke out against it and actively worked to change it were Neji Hyuga, Sasuke Uchiha, Haku, Pein, Obito Uchiha, Madara Uchiha, and Konan. Six of the seven listed above were murdered. Three of them are Uchihas. Six were all, at some point, viewed as villains by the narrative.

-Neji, who had been bitter about his destiny to die for the main branch just as his father was forced to do before finally beginning to believe that destiny and fate could change and that he didn’t have to throw his life at the feet of his cousins, ended up not only accepting the fact that his destiny would be to die for the main branch but died protecting Hinata as she tried to protect Naruto. This could have been avoided if Hinata had, I don’t know, used her clan’s technique of protective tri palms. Or at least summoned clones to take the blows.

-Sasuke wanted justice for his clan’s genocide at the hands of the Third. The Third threatened Itachi with emotional blackmail, saying that Sasuke would die if he didn’t do this. Itachi was already mentally traumatized and could see no other option. Sasuke wanted vengeance for the death of his family. First he was going solely after Itachi, but Konoha ninja had to chase him anyway even when he said his mission had nothing to do with them. Then he turned his sights on the village and the five kages, wanting to try them for war crimes that they very truly committed. But after being forced to give up on his desire for justice by Naruto and forced into silence by Kakashi he left and never looked back. Thank god for that.

-Obito was thought to have been murdered as a twelve year old child. Let that sink in. Obito Uchiha was thought to have been murdered as a child. He lived with the desire to create a dream world where nothing like what happened to him or Rin would ever happen again.

-Madara was initial supposed to be the Hokage but because Hashirama turned into a chicken shit and let Tobirama, who would later go on to oppress the Uchiha to the point where they were isolated and hated by the village, convince him to hold an election that Tobirama knew Hashirama would win. After Madara tried to warn his remaining clan members only to be ignored he left on his own and was seen as a villain for it.

-Haku was abandoned and abused by his village because of his bloodline ability, something that is never addressed again.

-Pein and Konan were children that, once again, were forced into war and suffered for it.

-Sasuke is supposedly treated as another Kage but there is a very big difference; he doesn’t hold the political power of one. Sasuke can’t change the system that failed his family and left him to grow up abandoned and alone as a child. Sasuke can’t fix the system that oppress clans like his everyday. Sasuke can’t put systems in place to protect people with bloodline abilities. Sasuke can’t stop things like what Danzo did with his family’s eyes and Root from ever happening again. All of these problems fell to Naruto to fix.

-And Naruto failed to change a single thing.

So listen friend I have problems with the ships but I have much bigger problems with the fact that nothing is ever addressed beyond “And now there’s peace.”